An Asymmetric Game

While not writing for extended periods of time is relatively normal around these parts, I do have a fair number of things to put up: more recipes, thoughts on a couple books, etc. Just haven’t felt up to it, and that’s a problem. Sometimes it’s just easier to ignore everything.

I think almost constantly about leaving grad school; so much that I’m almost sure it’s the right move. If I had a good exit strategy (working on it!) and didn’t have to deal with people I care about there would be no question.

I have lots of reasons (which I’m sure will be enumerated in a later post) but they just support one idea: I am miserable here and I don’t see it getting better. It might, but I think the chance is small; the more likely outcome is that I’ll just get more and more bitter. Might as well get out before the costs get too high. I know I’m depressed–I have enough experience dealing with it to see the signs–and I know that school is the cause. I’m done with thinking that it’s just something I need to get over and that if I could only work a little harder, think a little deeper, and ignore distractions I’ll succeed. And while I might, it’s not worth it.

This is what nobody ever told me about graduate school: it has an insanely high opportunity cost if you care about anything outside your field.

As much as I may have disliked my previous job, at least it didn’t give me nausea when I thought about it. The idea of finishing the semester pains me (literally, sometimes); having to do this for another four years (at least!) is unfathomable. I would rather move back to my hometown–and I think everyone here knows how much I hate that place–and get a job there than spend another year here.

I think it’s time to start talking to people. I’ve had some long conversations with a girl in my cohort, but she’s the only one that knows the extent of it. I think most of the other student here I’m closest with know that I’m unhappy, but maybe not the extent. My sister knows. I’ve insinuated it with a few friends. This week, though, I need to talk with a professor about it and with my parents. I am not looking forward to it: they’ll try and talk me into staying, and I’ll think they are making reasonable points and it’ll just delay leaving longer. There’s very few things anyone can say to make things truly better. (And that should be sign I need to leave: that I’m willing to actually go through with these conversations.)

Luckily, since they’re paying me to be here, I don’t have loans to worry about. I have enough saved up (especially if I can hit the savings hard over the next two months) that I’m not tied down. Of course, I don’t want to touch the savings, but if I have to, I have to.

I don’t know. I have many many more thoughts which, given my wordiness and rambling, I’ll come back to. But this has been good: even just thinking about leaving makes me feel better. Hence, writing this.

It was nice writing something that doesn’t really mean anything. I’m not really looking for much beyond an answer–and, hey, if they know some people are waiting for it, maybe they’d move faster. Of course, I’m trying not to eat so much pizza (tonight was the first time in 5 weeks), but still. Also, after a crappy day like today, it feels good to tell someone else something positive.

Dear [Regional Pizza Chain],

Six months ago I moved out of [former state] in order to go back to school. It was stressful and I was leaving behind many things I enjoyed–friends, decent weather, and the city in general. During my time in [Former State], I had taken to your pizza and it became my delivery of choice. I was not sad about missing your pizza since I saw on your website that, COMING SOON!, there would be a [Chain]’s in my new town of [New City, New State]. Now, I don’t eat pizza as much as most college students but, every time I do, I check your website and hope that I somehow missed a grand opening announcement. Sadly, it seems I have not. So, I am curious: when will [Chain]’s pizza be available in [New Town]?

A former and hopefully soon-to-be returning customer,

XXX

This is what seems counterintuitive: having goals makes things simpler.

Consider: I haven’t cut my hair in over 13 months now, except for a trim here or there. It’s long, a touch over ten inches maybe, and quite long for a guy. (Within the department, it’s only the second longest–I’ve got about 6 inches on the third longest, but am about 10 inches short for the lead.)

Half of me wants to cut it, primarily because short hair is easier to manage. But I like the idea of longer hair and some days, if I do say so myself, it looks really freakin’ good. Of my friends, about 75% of them like it long, but in the minority are people like my sister, who has the best sense of style of anyone I know. So.

My usual M.O. is to get it cut short, grow it out for 9 months, get it cut short again, rinse, repeat. It’s not that I ever regret getting it cut, but if I do, it would take a year to get it back and it’s an investment of time I’m not sure I want to make. There isn’t a clear good here either way.

Now, number 100 on the master list is to get my hair long enough I can donate it to an organization that makes wigs for children with cancer. There’s is a noble goal; mine? maybe not so much. But having on the list makes my course clear and I can stop worrying about whether to cut it or not. I think I need to give it another 4-6 months.

Goals limit options, but since I set the goal, I’m okay with it. In the bad ol’ days, I only realized the first part.

This goes doubly well for my financial goals, though that’s a post for another day.

Monday night I was out late attempting to cross #79 (local bar’s trivia competition) off my list. It’s five rounds of 10 general knowledge questions. Teams can be up to six players and it’s $2 per player. Winning team gets the entire pot. Monday night’s pot was $38.

I expected to be on a team of five, but three of my partners bailed. While I’m pretty sure we would have won with everyone, the two of us did pretty good — we took second. We had 35 right, the winning team had 36. They also had 5 players, so I don’t feel too bad about it.

What I do feel bad about: $1 PBR cans. So I had nine. Maybe 10. The trivia was upstairs while the bar was downstairs, so there was a point where I was triple-fisting PBR, which clearly makes me a bad-ass or something.

As such, while I still got up early yesterday, I did not do so at 5am. It was 6am, but I’m not going to count it, so today is the new official first day. Today’s also my longest day of the week, so we’ll see how that goes.

Today was the first day of starting #18: "Become an early riser and get up at a set time every day for two months." I’ve decided that "set time" will be 5 a.m.

The methodology and inspiration for this goal is here. The basic jist is get up the same time every day and go to bed when you’re tired. It makes a certain intuitive sense.

So my alarm went off at 5:02 and I was up at 5:04. After showering I checked my email, rss reader, and made some breakfast (homemade granola). I was going to head into the office, so I checked the bus schedule not knowing when the earliest bus is…6:30am, it turns out, though it was 6:25 when I saw it. So I caught the next bus 25 minutes later. I would have just walked, but it’s really fucking cold outside.

Campus was beautiful this morning. For the first time ever, I did not see anyone between the bus stop to entering my office. Of course, it was 7:15am on a Holiday Monday, so I didn’t expect many. I was working by 7:45 and downloaded all my readings for this week. But–and this shouldn’t really surprise me–there’s a problem with the printer so I can’t print them (and therefore can’t read them, because I hate reading articles online). Because of the holiday, there’s nobody I can get to fix it either.

Nonetheless. I’m starting this task now even though I may lack the disciple to continue for 62 straight days. If it keeps, though, it should give me between a half and two hours extra time a day. This would help me achieve some of these other goals, plus help me out in my course work. Even if it doesn’t do that, though, I should have a better idea of how much sleep I ‘need’ instead of ‘want’ or ‘get’. It might be useful information to have.

Outside of getting my BA and, possibly, going to graduate school, the most important thing I’ve done in the last five years for my long-term benefit was the 60-day fitness Challenge at the gym

Over two months, I started eating right and exercised (usually) 5 or 6 times a week. I lost 23 pounds of fat and gained 4 pounds of muscle and felt physically better than at any point in my life.

These are impressive numbers, I think, but that’s not why it has changed my life. Doing the challenge convinced me that the person I want to be is within reach. This isn’t limited to just physicallity; my recent learning/understand of my finances–and the good changes I’ve made because of it–stems in part from the MBG. Things are not usually as difficult as they seem, and I/You/We can do it.

Found this idea through one of the personal finance blogs I read (The Simple Dollar) though it appears the original is from here. Looks interesting, so I am going to do it. You know, become the person you want to be and all that kinda crap. Follow that second link for a big list from other people. I stole some of my ideas from them. Two of my favorites (since I tend, you know, to identify more with those my own age and those in grad school): here and here. Here’s the "rules":

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

My list is below. It’s very ambitious and I will be very surprised (and very, very happy!) if I can get all of it done in time. In the sidebar will be a link to the master list which will include updates of progress. I will refrain for trying to explain anything on this list at this time, except to point out two things: 1) lofiaudiophile.com is a website me and some friends are starting here soon but isn’t up yet; 2) #27 & #28 are the two hardest and two most important on the list.

THE LIST!!

Begin date: 19 January 2008

End date: 16 October 2010

 

Food/Health:
(1) Eat completely vegan for three straight months.
(2) Drink no soda for six months.
(3) Do not eat out for one month.
(4) Do 75 push-ups in a row.
(5) Decrease weight to 220 lbs. (Starting weight: 296)
(6) Decrease body fat percentage to 18%.
(7) Cook a vegan dinner for friends.
(8) Make 150 dishes I’ve never made before.
(9) Collect favorite recipes and make a cookbook.
(10) Grow my own herbs and spices for a summer.
(11) Learn to can/preserve.
(12) Enter a cooking contest/competition.
(13) Donate fat-man clothes.
(14) Run in at least a 10K race.
(15) Work out every day for a month.
(16) Eat nothing but raw foods during one month.
(17) Try a polyphasic sleep schedule for one month. (See here.)
(18) Become an early riser and get up at a set time everyday for two months.
(19) Whiten teeth.
(20) Walk everywhere for a month.
(21) Go completely vegetarian (min. 1 year) except for being a “social meat-eater.”
(22) Write testimonial for [gym mentioned above].
(23) Eat a habañero, whole, by itself.

School/Learning:
(24) Get an academic work published.
(25) Be able to read Arabic alphabet.
(26) Be able to read Cyrillic alphabet.
(27) Pass prelim exams.
(28) Defend dissertation proposal.
(29) Become an online tutor.
(30) Get on “excellent” list 4 semesters. [Professors/TAs given an "excellent" rating by their students.]
(31) Read all required and recommended material (sans non-required books) for two classes.
(32) Voluntarily work a 70 hour week each semester.
(33) Get highest Graduate Teaching Certification.
(34) Learn all world capitals & largest cities for each country.
(35) Get someone to pay me to go somewhere more than 500 miles away for something related to school.
(36) Donate $100 or more to my undergrad school.

Money:
(37) Increase networth to $XX,XXX by 1 Jan 2009.
(38) Increase networth by 75% in 2009.
(39) Increase networth by 50% in 2010.
(40) Buy into an index fund.
(41) Open high-yield savings account for emergency fund ($XXXX).
(42) Get a credit card.
(43) Open a Roth IRA (and transfer old retirement account).
(44) Spend no money for 14 days in a row.
(45) Save 50% of main paycheck for five months. (Doesn’t have to be consecutive.) Don’t dip into savings.
(46) Get renter’s insurance.

Music:
(47) Write 555 articles on music for lofiaudiophile.com
(48) Make 10 mixtapes, each for a different person, of songs that make me think of them.
(49) Make 20 single-artist mixtapes.
(50) Learn the bass guitar.
(51) 555 subscribers at lofiaudiophile.com
(52) Make more than $1 from lofiaudiophile.com
(53) Listen to 555 albums on The Guardian’s 1000 albums to hear before you die list.
(54) See Opeth perform live.
(55) Play "30 Seconds Over Tokyo" (RFTT version) live, preferably with a full band.
(56) Go to a dance club and Dance!
(57) Convince a stranger at a music store that they should buy a particular album.
(58) Write a song good enough I feel comfortably playing it for someone else.
(59) Submit song to [local/University’s record label competition].
(60) Make a “definitive” mixtape (i.e. “a history of punk”)
(61) Interview a band/band member/artist for lofiaudiophile.com
(62) Make a list of 250 songs that make me happy to be alive.
(63) Buy a harmonica and learn live the blues.

Reading:
(64) Read Moby Dick.
(65) Read 50 of Time Magazine’s 100 Best English-Language Novels from 1923 to the Present.
(66) Read 24 books for “fun” not covered by last .
(67) Memorize 10 poems.
(68) Join paperbackswap.com and swap at least 6 books.

Drinking:
(69) Try absinthe.
(70) Try and write about 100 different beers.
(71) Buy a shot/drink of the most expensive whiskey/bourbon/scotch at the Bar.
(72) Visit/Tour a whiskey distillery.

Sports/Games:
(73) Attend two professional sporting events.
(74) Visit Lambeau field.
(75) Purchase a Green Bay replica jersey.
(76) Go ice skating.
(77) Beat Final Fantasy X.2
(78) Beat Final Fantasy XII.
(79) Win a trivia contest at [local bar’s] “Drink n Think”
(80) Watch 20 matches during FIFA World Cup 2010.
(81) Find someone to play Chinese Chess with and learn how to play.
(82) Buy a Go board and learn how to play.

Travel:
(83) Go to NYC.
(84) Visit [sister] at college.
(85) Visit Krista in England, assuming she doesn’t move.
(86) Couchsurf for a week in (a)  place(s)  where I don’t know anybody.
(87) Go letterboxing and get at least 25 stamps, including at least one from out-of-state.

Inter-personal:
(88) Go two weeks without complaining once.
(89) Send out Christmas cards.
(90) Go 72 hours without using a computer, TV or music player. Void if on vacation.
(91) Go 48 hours without talking (including typing).
(92) Respond to an online personal ad (via a dating site).
(93) Write 10 companies with criticism (positive or negative) about their product/service.
(94) Write 10 companies about the excellent service I received from one of their employees.

Other:
(95) Leave no dirty dishes overnight for one month.
(96) Write five decent short stories and send at least one off for publication.
(97) Organize and digitize all my photos.
(98) Get a tattoo.
(99) Continue “Inspirational Deadwood Quote of the Week” every week for a year.
(100) Get hair long enough, cut it and donate to Locks of Love (or similar organization).

Meta:
(101) Put $5 in separate savings account for each thing accomplished on this list. Do something fun (not school or investing related) with the money. Donate $5 to some charity/organization for every incomplete item.
(102) Make new 101 for 1001 list when this one is over.

In the last month I’ve quit my job, moved to a new state, became a grad student (or, gave up being an adult, as one of my new colleague’s wives put it), began the friendship process with many new people, and generally started on a career progression. I don’t wish to talk about any of that, at least right now, so I am going to write things about three things that aren’t so goddamned important.

First, I recently saw "Apocalypto" on advice from a trusted friend. I had neglected seeing it because it didn’t appear to be that good and Mel Gibson had lost a far bit of stature in the post-<i>Passion</i> world. <i>Apocalypto</i>, however, is good. I’m not sure I understand or buy into the grand cultural statement he appears to be making, but otherwise I really enjoyed it. It taps into the “hero” paradigm easily and effectively allowing the story to feel organic even in places that are a bit forced. This also lets the story develop a great deal of pathos through an economy of storytelling. It’s a violent movie—not as violent as I was led to imagine—and, being of the more “realistic” school, is hard to watch at times. There were a couple places I cringed. Still, definitely worth seeing if you haven’t already.

Second. I may be arrogant, but I admit when I am wrong. So let me take this opportunity. In the past I would often claim that “Seasons in the Abyss by Slayer was the best metal song of all time. Of course, I was/am not that brash, so even while claiming it, I would mentally add “…that I’ve heard” at the end. Even with the add-on, I couldn’t really imagine what a song that could top it. Now, I’m not going to discuss why <i>Seasons<i> is a brilliant track and may or may not be the best metal one ever—it isn’t important right now. What is, is that I was wrong. How stupid could I have been? I mean, “Seasons in the Abyss” isn’t even the best Slayer song! Clearly, the best metal song of all-time is Slayer’s “Raining Blood.” I dare disagreement.

Third. It’s easy to find the annoying things about a new town. I could (and probably will, eventually) list two dozen inherent things that bother me about my current city and another two dozen if compared to the previous one. The good things are harder to find, so I’m not willing to pass judgment yet. I have realized just how important the people are to a place and how important good friendships are. This is probably a no-brainer to all but myself, but it highlights the progression (regression?) between who I am now and who I was the last time I tried this seven years ago. And there I go talking about something that matters.

Of course, this does include spoilers.

It turns out that I am one of the 20 million or so¹ Americans that have read the most recent and (probably) last official Harry Potter narrative. In my defense, though, I did not buy it, I did not wait in line at midnight, and I did not dress up as my favorite character. I may be out time, but I’m not out money or (that much) dignity.

Joking aside, Deathly Hallows is the best book in the series, and I think there is little reason to argue otherwise. One reason, perhaps, is the epilogue, which very well might be the worst chapter in all seven books—but we’ll get to that later. It’s also my favorite in the series; I liked it enough that it changed my opinion about the other six.

An explanation. I started reading the series after the fourth book came out. I was in college, so I guess it’s valid to claim that my initial bleh was due partly to age. ² I breezed the first three books. I started dating a big HP fan a few months before the fifth book came out, so I read the fourth book. At the time it was my favorite. I got involved in her message board based on HP and ended up having some highly intelligent conversations about Rowling’s universe. I won’t lie—it’s a fun game developing theories based on a specific and spotty canon. An example: I remember at one point attempting to prove that Hagrid, when he was at Hogwarts, was a Slytherin.

At this point, I can’t say I liked Harry Potter. I respected it and found it useful (why? It’s further in this post), but I didn’t love it. Then things went bad, we broke up, and the fifth book came out. I was a bit bitter about the situation and I read the book while driving across Nebraska during July in a van. That partly explains why the fifth book, in my opinion, is clearly the worst of the series. Most of it, though, is that the book is poorly written and all the characters are annoying.³

So now I’m saying that I dislike HP, but that a part of my personal narrative is tied up in it—this is why I read the sixth book. Half-Blood Prince was better than expected, but still I’m not a big fan of the series. Then the fifth movie comes out and I want to see it for the same reason I mentioned two sentences ago. I have a friend in from out of town, so I see it with her, her sisters, and my flask. Perhaps that last companion is why I liked the movie so much—I’d go so far as to say it’s the best in the series. Why the worst book would make the best movie, I don’t know, but there it is.

After the movie, I decided to re-read the sixth book. It went quickly and I enjoyed it more because I could skip over the parts I found annoying. I particular like the last two hundred pages or so–Rowling kept the action mostly constant and used far less filler than normal. I then got the seventh book and read it over four days. After 550 words and before I get to the reasons, this is my general statement about book 7: it changed my opinion of the series from “I dislike Harry Potter” to “Man, this could have been so much better.” Yes, that’s a step up.

Let’s get this out of the way. I do not think Rowling is a good author. Her dialogue is horrible, her characterization needs work and her plots don’t flow organically. ⁴ Where she’s brilliant at, though, it tapping into classical archetypes in a way that helps us gain some understanding of the human condition. I did not see this before the sixth book, though I think it’s there. Why the sixth and especially seventh books excel is simple: it’s dark. Not only is that more enjoyable for a cynical bastard like myself, it also allows for a greater exploration of what it means to be human and be confronted with choices. I was completely sold when Harry walked into the Forbidden Forest and faced his death. This trope fascinates me: what do you do when you know you’re going to die and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it? That one scene—and then the “heaven” scene with Dumbledore that follows—tells us more about Rowling’s understanding of the human condition than the first five books combined.

This does come with a cost, though. I found the book to be quite predictable because she uses the standard hero progression. This is why Sirius had to die in 5 and Dumbledore (especially) had to die in six. And, most importantly, this is why Harry had to die in seven. Wait, you might be saying—he didn’t die. No, I think he did. He was, for lack of a different term, resurrected. Yeah, just like Jesus, that’s how Harry conquered death. It didn’t take the Hallows, it didn’t take Horcruxes…it takes acceptance, the greater good, and love. He embraces death instead of running. He takes it like a man. He takes it like a hero. His death allows redemption. At very least, that’s how the character—until this point one of my least favorite ones—redeemed himself in my eye.

So I think the ending is great and, from a meta level, nearly perfect. This is why I hate the epilogue so much. Because of this last chapter, we leave Harry not as a hero, but as a…a what? There’s no indication that he (or any others) had changed between ages 17 and 36 other than physically. We learn nothing new about him or anyone else. It doesn’t give us any more insight into the human condition. I wish I hadn’t read the epilogue.

Right—so the ending is good, but the lead up also works. Rowling keeps the tension palpable through nearly the entire novel. There’s nowhere near as much filler as previously. The entire book is focused on Harry. For the first time, Harry has to act. This is the single biggest reason I don’t care for the first three books: Harry is a passive character. Things happen to him, not because of him. Even in the later books this is true, though not as much. But finally, in this last installment, Harry becomes an actor. He has to make decisions. He has no one to fall back on. Why did Dumbledore have to die?—so this would happen. I love how Rowling tears down the Myth of Dumbledore, because it makes Harry’s quest so much more his own.

I do have a fair number of quibbles with the seventh book, but talking about them isn’t productive because they have no bearing on my liking the book. However, here are five things that bother me through the entire series. These things are, in my opinion, the problems holding the books back from being ‘classics.’ I’ll use one scene that I think exemplifies a few of them:

The scene: Harry finds Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest and Voldemort kills him. After the pre-resurrection scene in King’s Cross, Voldemort tells Narcissa to examine Harry and tell him if he’s dead. Narcissa does so and discovers that Harry is still alive. Instead of informing Voldemort of this, he whispers to Harry “Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?” Harry whispers back in the affirmative. Narcissa squeezes him.⁵. She then tells Voldemort that Harry is dead. Rowling then slips into third person and writes,

“Still feigning death on the ground, he understood. Narcissa knew that the only way she would be permitted to enter Hogwarts, and find her son, was as part of the conquering army. She no longer cared whether Voldemort won.”

Problem number one. Rowling has this horrible tendency to tell, not show. Here, she flat-out tells us why Narcissa did what she did. No room for interpretation, no work by the reader. It was that way and it is that way. Of course, she’s not necessarily being an omniscient narrator—she’s saying that Harry understood. This is fine, except that…

Two. …Harry is (almost) always right. This was very clear to me in re-reading book six. With the exception of Snape—which I’ll get to in a minute—Harry always makes the right choice and always believes the right thing. Harry thinks Draco’s up to something even though there’s no evidence and smarter people than him don’t think so? Whoops…turns out that Draco is up to something. This problem extends also to Dumbledore. ⁶ Sure, he “guesses” but he’s always right. Which is not to say that this is a deal breaker—it’s not. But there has to be a better way of presenting this. In the scene referenced above, it’s understood by the reader that Harry is right partly because of precedent, partly because no other alternatives are presented or considered. While I have no doubt that Narcissa wants her son back, there are dozens of other reasons she might ask Harry that question. Which leads to the third problem…

Three. …Rowling has a simplistic view of her world. Remember above where I said that an argument could be made that Hagrid was a Slytherin? I imagine, if I told Rowling that, she would scoff and say, “Of course he was a Gryffindor.” And she’d be right—in the novel’s universe, how could it be any different? Maybe it’s because she’s dealing in archetypes, but there is a distinct lack of complexity in the canon. Why does Narcissa lie about Harry? Of course, the answer the book presents is love. But what about increasing her power? What about anything? What about revenge for the way she and her family was treated? She is a Slytherin, after all, and…

Four. …All Slytherins are evil. Man, this one annoys the bejeebus out of me. Of course, not all Slytherins are evil—Slughorn, Snape, and Narcissa being the exceptions. So, I’m most likely a Slytherin⁷ and I’d like to think I’m a pretty good person. ⁸ But in the novels, it seems that all Slytherins are evil. It’s like elementary logic:

(1) All Slytherins are evil.
(2) X is a Slytherin.
So, (3) X is evil. ⁹

It’s not just that I feel Rowling impugns my personality. No, it’s because I truly believe that traits necessary of Slytherins are traits necessary to be a great person. This claim is, of course, debatable, but Rowling doesn’t even seem to want to have that debate. It seems that when Slytherins make good, it’s because they deny their Slytherin-ness. At very least, it’s clear through book six that there are no good Slytherins. (Are there any non-Slytherin Death Eaters? No.)

Snape is fascinating in six and seven. He’s one of the few characters that seem to have any moral complexity. I’d always sort of liked Snape, but seven makes him my favorite main character. (My favorite auxiliary characters? Oddly enough, it’s Bellatrix and Neville.) Part of the reason is that he represents a strong challenge to two of my for main complaints (four and two). Another part is that Snape doesn’t have to be redeemed, but is. Of course, we all knew that he couldn’t be evil (see above: Dumbledore is always right), but he could have died without the secret coming out. (And who doesn’t have sympathy for unrequited love?

The last main issue I have is real simple, so I’ll be brief(er). There’s too much luck in the series. It is my belief that good narratives must be inevitable but not predictable. HP is not—events are left to chance. It’s clear the Snape’s memories provide Harry the key to defeating Voldemort…so why didn’t Snape ensure that Harry would get them? That is, what are the chances that (1) Harry sees Snape die (2) Harry thinks fast enough to grab the memories (3) Harry takes time out from the battle to visit them (4) Harry understands? There’s just too many ways that can go wrong. The reason book three annoys me is the time-turner—it seems to come out of nowhere. It’s like Rowling painted herself in a corner and said, “Oh, let’s get out of it by…time travel!!!” Not inevitable. Not organic. The plotting is way too forced.

Yeah, so I liked it despite all this, but it could have been a lot better. I’m also one of those people who believe that reading is good and reading (even crap) is better than most other activities kids can do. So who am I to judge? I just wrote 2,357 words about it and spent many hours reading it, so whatever.

 

 

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¹ CNN reports that 8.3 million copies were sold in the first 24 hours. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that the total copies two weeks in has increased substantially. Also, we need to add in those that share or read it some other non-purchase way.
² Ultimately, I don’t think this argument stands up. For one, so what? Lots of kids’ stories appeal to other ages. Two, many people my own age love it, so I think this argument is just an excuse to deflect criticism.
³ Of course, I’m not a published author and don’t have a kajillion dollars, so what do I know?
⁴ See previous footnote.
⁵ “He felt the hand on his chest contract; her nails pierced him. Then it was withdrawn.” I believe that, at that moment, Narcissa loves Harry.
⁶ At least while Dumbledore is Headmaster.
⁷ Depends on course, on what you mean by claiming a house. I am, I’d like to think, a complex character so I don’t fit cleanly in one house. However, I think I’m more Slytherin than not, so the point stands.
⁸ There are good arguments out there against this, though.
⁹ Not incidentally, this is exactly why I think Rowling would say that Hagrid is not Slytherin.